Tag Archives: ocean sunfish

Ocean sunfish

Ocean sunfish

The sun has a number of avatars in the animal kingdom. The sunbear represents its heat. The sunbird represents its relationship with plants. The sundog represents its light. The sun angel battles moon criminals on its behalf. The sunflower is not an animal. The ocean sunfish represents its mass. It is the heaviest bony fish in the world at about a ton spread over its 13-foot length. Believe it or not, the sun is even bigger – a dozen times bigger, at least – but the point is the ocean sunfish is proportionally like the sun of its particular peer group.

Special powers

It’s humongous.

Though the ocean sunfish performed as a baritone with its college a cappella group, it can sing well in a range from bass all the way to tenor.

Out-of-town gigs were hard.

The ocean sunfish, pictured here with the rest of “Gleequeg.”

Weaknesses

Due to its great size, the ocean sunfish has poor speed and maneuverability.

It has a weird butt.

ocean sunfish doin its thing

Weird.

Number of legs

No.

Known aliases

  • Mola mola
  • Hank
  • _DipBoss23_

Former names of its college a cappella group, Gleequeg

  • Skull and Crosstones
  • N-TUNE
  • The Jolly Rogers
  • Lucky Charmony
  • No Strings
  • Micky Dolenz’ Locker
  • Sweater Boys
  • Gleefaring Vessel
  • Sweater Boyz

What if it fought a bear?

When any agent of the sun is in danger, its comrades will come to its aid. The bear could take one of them, but not all.

Is it noble?

No.

Final rating

Dip is gross, sunfish. Why do you spend free time talking about it on a message board. That’s not befitting of a representative of our sun, THE GREATEST SUN IN THE UNIVERSE. WOOOO! EARTH! EARTH! EARTH! EARTH!

 

 

5.5/10

Tagged , , , , ,