Tag Archives: Norm!

Slowbro

Slowbro

To make it up to you for last week being bereft of animal ratings, today we’re featuring a double shot of sorts: the Slowbro.

Two for the price of one.

Two for the price of one.

The Slowbro is a Pokémon,[1] which means it can be domesticated, trained to fight or carry humans across bodies of water, and fits in a small ball or a madman’s computer network. It is essentially a Slowpoke that is being bitten on the tail by what the Pokédex describes as a Shellder. This is the widely accepted explanation, despite the fact that that thing on its tail is clearly not a Shellder.

This is a Shellder. I don't need to be a Pokémon professor to see the difference.

This is a Shellder. I don’t need to be a Pokémon professor to see the difference.

Special powers

The Slowbro has access to water and psychic attacks, along with all their respective type advantages.

Perhaps more notably, it does not feel pain. That’s not just something some trainer tells you when he’s trying to brag; that’s a real fact.

Under special circumstances, it can transform itself into something called Mega-Slowbro.

Weaknesses

This is what Mega-Slowbro is:

Come on now. This is ridiculous. Even the Slowbro looks upset by this development.

Come on now. This is ridiculous. Even the Slowbro looks upset by this development.

Also: Bug, Ghost, Grass, Electric and Dark Types.

Number of legs

Two.

Insightful Bulbapedia Quote

“Slowbro is a combination of slow and bro (short for brother).”

What if it fought a bear?

Given that the bear is a Normal-type, neither animal would have an advantage.

Is it noble?

The Slowbro, yes. That thing called a Shellder? No.

Final rating

The Slowbro is an amiable sort with an apt name. That mystery creature with intentions to devour it alive is some kind of demonic parasite attempting to pass for a real animal – and insulting us with the transparency of its deception.

 

 

Slowbro: 7/10

“Shellder”: 1.5/10

 

 

 

[1]You may remember hearing about Pokémon on an episode of ABC’s Norm.

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