When a shark and a goblin love each other very much, they contract a mad scientist to create an unholy hybrid known as the goblin shark.
The goblin shark’s mouth is a horrifying nightmare weapon, filled with crazy teeth and able to leap forward and snatch prey.
It is a real good swimmer.
The goblin shark is weak against exosuit cargo-loaders. It used to have vulnerabilities to torches and pitchforks, but it has since removed those flaws.
Number of legs
Favorite video game
It has eaten four separate copies of Ecco the Dolphin.
As the goblin shark was not literally born, the goblin shark does not have a birthday per se. But on the day its body was given animation, these celebrities were born by natural means:
Bruce Willis, an American actor who portrayed Unbreakable in the film Unbreakable
The Panda’s Accomplice, an athlete in the Chinese Basketball Association
Jimmie “The Beast” Foxx, the baseball player who first realized he could double his chances of hitting pitches by using two bats
What if it fought a bear?
The bear eschews most advanced technology, including exosuit cargo-loaders. The goblin shark would defeat it.
Is it noble?
The goblin shark’s goblin half may – may – be balanced by its shark side. But as a creation of mad science, it has no soul. Its MySpace bio makes that much clear.