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Dragonfly

Dragonfly

I’ve already addressed one non-dragon “dragon.” Today I write about another: the dragonfly.

pink dragonfly

This one DOES have wings, but doesn’t give a friggin’ dang about gold.

The dragonfly isn’t always a beautiful pink beast of the air. It begins life emerging from an egg, which is really biting Lady Gaga’s style, but her team[1] hasn’t been litigious about it. At this point, the dragonfly is just a nymph, a larval stage which floats about and fires its nightmarish hydraulic jaw into unsuspecting victims at range. Eventually, when it has killed the last teen camper in the pond, the nymph leaves the water and allows its dragonfly self to crack out of its shell. At this point, it must inflate its wings at the nearest tire shop. Only then is the dragonfly truly an adult. Only then can it wait seven more years to be able to rent a car.

Special powers

Well, there’s that crazy projectile monster jaw as a nypmh. As an adult, the dragonfly boasts large[2] compound eyes with as many as 30,000 lenses and dozens of in-eye image-altering tools and filters. Its perhaps most impressive accomplishment is the ability to fly any direction, including backwards. It can even just hover in place if it likes. I won’t pretend I’m not jealous.

Another fascinating power the dragonfly has is its resistance to cosmic threats.

dragonfly in rain

The dragonfly enduring a harsh meteor storm.

Weaknesses

The dragonfly’s complicated eyes prevent it from enjoying 3-D movies and video games, but it already bought all the equipment. This is what happens when you get shop online late at night, people.

Number of legs

Six.

Horrifying Wikipedia quote

“They breathe through gills in their rectum, and can rapidly propel themselves by suddenly expelling water through the anus.”

Differences from the damselfly

The dragonfly is different from the damselfly. The damselfly is smaller & holds its wings at rest together alongside body as opposed to the dragonfly, whose idle wing strategy can be better described as “letting it all hang out.”

Unsolved mysteries

The obelisk posture is a handstand the dragonfly does on sunny hot days. Scientists and religious leaders wonder: Is it a martial art? Is it a yoga? Is it true that one day when every dragonfly strikes the pose at once, the sky will crack open and phase two in the grand scheme of the dragonfly will be loosed upon our world?

What if it fought a bear?

The devil uses dragonflies to weigh souls. The bear’s soul is not particularly strong, but the dragonfly is uninterested in doing anything but getting a measurement. We’ll call this one a draw.

Is it noble?

Moderately.

Final rating

In the American South, the dragonfly is called the snake doctor. It is rumored to float around, mending the snake’s wounds. This is not a role the dragonfly plays in real life, although it is an essentially accurate description of the two animals’ relationship in their role-playing campaign.

I’m certainly concerned about the young dragonfly’s horrifying and possibly sinister obelisk worship. But I think this anecdote about the dragonfly’s gaming selflessness illustrate that the dragonfly does have other sides to its personality.

The dragonfly: It’s nature’s helicopter.

 

6.5/10

 

 

 

[1]Feinman, Stiles & Monsterbot, Attorneys at Law.

[2]I mean, relatively. It’s still bug-sized, you know?

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