Most animals don’t have human-style names. When they do, it’s often one a human gave them. And even then, it’s probably something like Snowball or Mayor Fuzzpants or Bella – names that very few humans actually have.
The John Dory is an exception.
The John Dory has a name, social security number, and Ralphs card. It also has a false eye on the side of its body to trick predators and teachers who don’t know it’s really asleep.
Its heavy plates slow it down.
The John Dory desperately wants to “go viral.” The only thing it has come up with toward this life goal is this image:
Number of legs
You may not know that Zach Braff’s Scrubs character was loosely based on the John Dory.
What if it fought a bear?
The bear’s gonna fall for that fake-eye trick, I just know it.
Is it noble?
That “meme” is terrible, John Dory.
That would never happen though. Bad example.