What’s up, everybody!

photo: jetskibrian.com

Hey hey hey, y’all!

Today I’d like to talk to you about the hogfish. So I will.

Special powers

The hogfish starts out female and then about three years into its life, becomes male. Because it does what it wants.


The hogfish got its name by hogging all the popcorn. You’re ruining movie night, hogfish!

Number of legs


Drink of choice

Coors Heavy – it’s ready to drink when the lead mountains turn blue and extra-toxic!

Wikipedia’s Talk Page Says

“Calling this fish a ‘dick’ is not vandalism.”

What if it fought a bear?

Why would it though?

Is it noble?


Final rating

The hogfish is a decisive iconoclast. Despite the libel of Wikipedia’s Talk Page, that does not make it a bad person fish. Its ungiving stance toward food-sharing comes close, though.




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One thought on “Hogfish

  1. […] Angelfish. Tilapia. Narwhal. Hogfish. Literally any shark. And I’m biased, but my bro the devil fish. It’s like the old […]

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