Have you ever known a hat guy? The treehopper is the hat guy of the animal kingdom. Its usual “go-to” headgear is an unobtrusive green number. If you didn’t notice it was attached to its head you might think the treehopper was just a humpy little bug instead of a tremendously odd little bug.
Not all its hats are so subtle.
Some of these crazy hats have certain advantages. The hairy globes above serve as a disincentive for anyone considering eating the treehopper. Its antler hat gained it access to the hottest deer club in town.
It calls socks “foot hats.”
The treehopper’s more elaborate hats have drawbacks in terms of mobility.
Number of legs
Is it secretly balding?
I don’t know for sure, but it has to be, right?
Choice Wikipedia Quote
“Distinguishing males from females is accomplished only by looking at the genitalia.”
What if it fought a bear?
It would lose.
Is it noble?
It’s not intrinsically wrong to be a hat guy. But there’s limits, and the treehopper does not recognize them. It will go full Duchess-of-Chiquita-at-the-Kentucky-Derby, regardless of whether the venue is appropriate for it.
Dial it back, treehopper.