Goose barnacle

Goose barnacle

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. There are two sides to every coin.[1] For every Gallant, a Goofus. For every butterfly, a moth. Most anyone will agree that the barnacle goose and the goose barnacle have just such a yin-yang relationship. Where no consensus can be reached is the question of which is yinnier and which is more of a yang.

barnacle goose

goose barnacle

You be the judge.

Special powers

I’ve looked at a considerable number of pictures and diagrams of the goose barnacle and I still don’t fully understand how its crazy body is set up. To put a positive spin on it, we could say it has the advantage of surprise.


We know that the barnacle goose is literally unkillable, so we can infer that the goose barnacle is very much mortal.

Number of legs

Who knows, man.

What’s its astrological sign?


What if it fought a bear?

The bear is big enough, the goose barnacle would probably just try to stick to its side.

Is it noble?


Final rating

I can make neither heads nor tails of the goose barnacle. I’m not sure it has either of those things.

One diagram pointed out its penis and I haven't slept since.

One diagram pointed out its penis and I haven’t slept since.








[1]Seriously! Turn any coin over if you don’t believe me. I’ll wait.

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