Saiga antelope

Saiga antelope

Africa seems to have a monopoly on all the most popular antelopes. But there’s a hip “underground”[1] antelope you may not have heard of over in Eurasia and it’s called the saiga antelope. It doesn’t have the mainstream appeal or name recognition of many other antelopes, but it’s no less worthy of our attention.

Special powers

The male saiga has horns. The female saiga carries a baseball bat with nails in it.

Weaknesses

The saiga antelope was cursed by a wizard to have its voice replaced by the wizard’s mocking impression. That is why its mating call is “Duuuhhh I’m a lonely idiot duurrrr!”

One imagines the wizard was inspired in part by the saiga’s dopey-looking nose.

saiga antelope got a big ol' nose

Oh buddy.

Number of legs

Four.

Fierceness factor

Quite low. A little higher with good horns.

unconventional, but solid

Not bad.

Is it a victim of ethnic cleansing?

Not exactly, but it is critically endangered due to poaching. Please, before you poach something, ask yourself: Am I making breakfast and is the thing I’m poaching an egg? If not, please don’t poach it.

What if it fought a bear?

The bear’s gonna immediately punch that nose.

Is it noble?

Yes.

Final rating

The saiga is not as glamorous as most antelopes, with its inaccessible goofy schnoz. But it is exceedingly underrated. Fortunately, this is not Underrate Every Animal, the worst website of all time.

 

 

8.5/10

 

 

[1]Not literally.

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