The flamingo: It’s not just a lawn ornament any more!
In both statue and animal form, the flamingo enjoys nothing more than standing on one leg and tucking the other away. Not even Jenga. And it loves Jenga.
It’s good at Jenga.
Like the rock pigeon, the flamingo produces crop milk. Flamingo crop milk is even more potent than the pigeon variety. It’s available only in secret backrooms of Tunisian hookah bars, where it is sold to those for whom gambling and opiates have lost their thrill.
Sometimes it is a lawn ornament.
Number of legs
Two. Wings are also involved.
The flamingo gains its distinctive pink color from feeding on algae, brine shrimp and a certain flavor of lemonade (blue raspberry). If, for some reason, it changes its diet, the flamingo’s color will change accordingly. Consult this handy chart.
Pink Algae, brine shrimp, blue raspberry lemonade
Yellow Popcorn shrimp, kale, pink lemonade
Silver Spinach, beef, red wine
Navy blue Baconator with Arby’s Sauce, sweet potato fries and Baja Blast
Black Dark matter
Orange w/ black stripes N/A. Not a flamingo. May be a tiger.
What if it fought a bear?
The bear is mighty, but might will not give it the ability to kill a lawn ornament. That remains impossible.
Is it noble?
The flamingo will never die. Flamingo forever. Forever and ever the flamingo.