Potoo

Potoo

There’s considerable hubbub right now over what a weird word “hubbub” is. I mean, look at it. Hubbub. Hubbub. Hubbub.

There’s also been some talk about Jimmy Fallon taking over The Tonight Show this week from its previous host, a golem controlled by the sorcerer Jay Leno. Meanwhile, Jimmy Fallon’s old gig will be handled starting next week by Seth, Egyptian god of storms, chaos, and weekend updates. We humans are not the only ones with late night entertainment. The premier late night program produced by and for animals is hosted by this week’s animal: the potoo.

potoo

Heeeeeere’s Potoo!

Special powers

As a nocturnal bird, the potoo was a natural fit for host of The Nightly Hour Starring Romeo Johanssen.[1] Its only real struggle early on was to fight off its natural instinct to camouflage itself to the set – especially its own desk.

The potoo’s band leader/sidekick/consummate hypeman the howler monkey is also on hand to laugh at things that exist. It has no sense of humor of its own ever since the accident, but it laughs on cue like nobody’s business. This is crucial to its effectiveness because…

Weaknesses

…the potoo’s jokes are terrible. Just terrible. It can make some funny faces, but you eventually get used to all of those if you watch the show much at all.

potoo

Seen it.

Which reminds me; its eyes are huge. It’s great for seeing in the dark, but they are huge targets. The potoo took a real beating in its Three Stooges tribute episode. Under doctor’s orders, it had to do the whole next night blindfolded and flew directly into a stand-up bass.

In the late ’80s, the network moved The Nightly Hour Starring Romeo Johanssen back forty minutes to give a fresh young talent the nightjar a spotlight. The potoo entered a deep depression when this happened. Despite the popularity of its host as a performer in other respects, the nightjar’s program, “Jar!”, crashed and burned in the ratings. Soon enough, the potoo was restored to prominence. Some suspected collusion, as ratings in the South American rain forest are just numbers that the howler monkey shouts at the top of its lungs each morning at ten.

Number of legs

Two, plus wings.

What if it fought a bear?

The potoo’s go-to move is to sit still and look like a branch. This has little effect as the bear has no moral nor nutritional qualms about eating a branch.

Is it noble?

No.

Final rating

In the words of the potoo, “Hey, remember Monica Lewinsky?” The howler monkey’s response to this was “Ohhhhh!” This happened in the year 2014 A.D.

 

5/10

 

 

[1]The potoo changed its stage name to something more “Hollywood” after it turned out there was already a potoo in the guild.

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