Mexican free-tailed bat

Mexican free-tailed bat

Today’s animal has a tail that demands to be free. From south of the border, it’s the Mexican free-tailed bat.

Mexican free-tailed bat

Myxican batiful dark twistailed freetasy.

Special powers

There can be millions of these things in just one cave. Think about that in your nightmares tonight, people who fear bats and/or large numbers!

The Mexican free-tailed bat is an expert at echolocation, which allows it to effortlessly find its way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.


It loves to hang out in flammable spots.

Unlike certain other bats, it is not a dracula. While I applaud it for that, this means it doesn’t share in any of the special powers and benefits associated with being a dracula.

Number of legs

Two. Plus those wings though.

Military usage

During World War II, the United States army developed the bat bomb, which involved strapping bombs to bats and dropping them over enemy cities to flap their way into all the most flammable nooks and crannies. After the army accidentally set their own base on fire working on it, the research was transferred to the Navy under the name Project X-Ray. This was a clever codename, as the project to give a bat soldier X-ray-vision had a completely unrelated name (Project Burn Down Our Own Bases). The project was scrapped when America sobered up and remembered that it was literally the idea of Eleanor Roosevelt’s dentist friend.

Japan had its own program to rival America’s research by strapping bombs to their own native animal, the balloon.

balloon bomb

It’s tragic to see such a noble creature used to perpetuate violence.


Playing clarinet, sudoku, street racing, semi-professional Parcheesi.

#Relatable Wikipedia quote

“Mating can occur in an aggressive or passive form.”

What if it fought a bear?

The result depends on if the Mexican free-tailed bat is aggressive or passive that day.

Is it noble?


Final rating

You maniacs. You blew it up. All because a dentist said you should. The Mexican free-tailed bat deserves better.




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