Deepwater stingray

Deepwater stingray

There are superfans. There are Supertrains. There are Supertrain superfans. And then there’s the deepwater stingray. It is the biggest Supertrain fan of them all.

stingray

Not that it’s a big pool to draw from.

Despite the burning intensity of the deepwater stingray’s devotion to Supertrain, which is roughly comparable to one thousand suns, it also makes time for other pursuits and obsessions. The deepwater stingray is, to put it lightly, a great big nerd. It buys all the comics with “Justice League” in the title, even if they’re about Vibe.[1] It watches every episode of “Defiance.” It knows intimate details about Shadowrun.

These things make the deepwater stingray happy. What upsets it? Anything in a movie it deems a plot hole. Its definition of plot hole is very broad, as one can see reading its angry online missives. Please find below an excerpt of the deepwater stingray’s objections:

“Nobody went to the bathroom in this movie. You mean to tell me they ALL held it for WEEKS? Then in this scene the main character has totally different clothes? Where’d that come from? Did he have some kind of secret room full of outfits? And another thing: the villain is established as being really smart. But then at the end, the hero is all of a sudden slightly smarter than him! Ummm, plot hole much? You’d think a film of this budget would be a LITTLE more careful!”

Special powers

Like any other stingray, the deepwater stingray has a tail with a barbed sting on the end.

I mean, that’s pretty much the main thing. It’s right there in the name.

Weaknesses

It illegally downloads albums it doesn’t even want, and has at least twice ended up with viruses it really didn’t want as a result. Plus that one time it got an NWA album where all the swears were replaced with Swedish Chef sounds.[2]

Number of legs

No.

Wikipedia Talk Page Theater

Wikipedian 1 asserts: “Stingrays are fascinating creature…”

Wikipedian 2 rebuts: “No they aren’t”

What if it fought a bear?

It would complain that it makes no sense for the bear to be underwater. In this particular case, it would be right.

Is it noble?

No.

Final rating

Nobody loves Supertrain like the deepwater stingray loves Supertrain.

NOBODY.

 

3/10

 

 

 

[1]I’m just trying to start a beef with all the Vibe-heads out there.

[2]Actually, that was pretty borping awesome.

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  1. […] trait was the basis for a failed attempt at a viral meme by user _SupertrainSet_ that would feature the douroucouli’s image accompanied by various obnoxious phrases, such as […]

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