Hero shrew

Hero shrew

If you didn’t know better (and you probably don’t), you might think this is just a normal shrew:

hero shrew

WRONG.

Wrong. This is the hero shrew. Non-hero shrews draw their inspiration from this noble beast, which is their protector and paragon of shrew virtues.[1]

Special powers

Well, it is a paragon of shrew virtues. When it has the strength of its convictions, it is as strong as ten shrews plus two.

The hero shrew’s signature power, though, is its unbelievably powerful spine with lots of large, thick vertebrae, all of them interlocking.

girl look at that spine

Check it out.

The hero shrew’s go-to move is letting much larger animals stand on it, only to shrug them off, tripping and confusing them. How can this be, when the shrew is so tiny? The hero shrew’s secret is that it is the Spinefreak.

Weaknesses

Weirdly, the hero shrew is allergic to kryptonite. It’s not from Krypton or anything – not any more than my cousin Randall is from Shrimpton. It’s just a coincidence.

Number of legs

Four.

Favorite video game

WWF WrestleMania 2000.

Sister species

There is a second sort of hero shrew, only recently discovered, first described last month. Its name is Thor’s hero shrew, named for the Norse god it serves. Much as Odin sends the raven to Midgard, Thor is assisted in this realm by Thor’s hero shrew. It has less lightning at its disposal than you might guess.

What if it fought a bear?

The bear can step on it all it wants, the hero shrew shall not be moved.

Is it noble?

Yes.

Final rating

It stands for what is good and just. It battles the agents of Loki and rock trolls of all kinds. It makes a mean panini. Is it too soon to say… best shrew ever?

 

 

10/10

 

 

 

[1]Good old-fashioned shrew values include honesty, courage, foraging, sharp teeth, and sharing.

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