Great tit

Great tit

Look, I didn’t set out to rate the great tit today because I’m an immature child who’d get amusement from a “dirty” name. I’m rating the great tit today because it is a bird worthy of real discussion.

That said, here is a picture from its Wikipedia article, along with its actual caption.

“A pair of Great Tits”

“A pair of Great Tits”

There. Now that that ugly bit of business is out of the way, can we get to brass tacks? Wait, I’m sorry. I thought I was doing my fastener-rating side blog for a second.[1] What we should actually get down to is the great tit.

Special powers

Or should I say up? Perhaps, since the great tit has the ability of flight, and can often be found soaring over our heads. Don’t look up though; it might be pooping.

Weaknesses

The great tit’s Cockney accent is nigh impenetrable.

Furthermore, it’s a real jerk about pooping just anywhere it likes.

Number of legs

Two, plus wings.

Diet

The great tit mostly prefers to feed on insects. That doesn’t mean that it won’t branch out if sufficiently pushed. Infamously, one harsh winter, the great tit grew desperate for food and began slaughtering bats and eating the brains out of their crushed skulls. In the 1940s in Britain, it killed and fed on milkmen in the same fashion. Eventually spring came and the insects returned, but by that time it was too late. The great tit had a taste for murder, and only the efforts of profiler Will Graham could stop it.

What if it fought a bear?

It did, and it ate the bear’s brain with caterpillars and a nice Chianti.

Is it noble?

No.

Final rating

The great tit is a favorite subject of study of bird-watchers and Quantico trainees alike. It has lovely feathers and a lovely singing voice, even if you can’t make out the lyrics (see Weaknesses). And its insight may be just the thing we need to capture other brain-eaters.

 

6/10

 

 

[1]Spoiler alert: This week’s feature is the brass tack!

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One thought on “Great tit

  1. […] This means that the class boasts such members as robins, eagles, bats, penguins wearing jetpacks, great tits and […]

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