My little cousin Randall needed to work on his writing and I needed to get a review of the agama written.


Pictured here looking smug.

So please enjoy what he turned in:


Hi, my name is Randall. Today I’d like to talk to you about the agama. defines “agama” as “Did you mean: param?” I tend to agree, enthusiastically. This essay will explain why and the reasons for why.

The agama is a lizard that looks like this:

red-headed agama

It looks this way.

I know about the agama in a direct personal experience from my own life, personally. Specifically what I mean by this is that my classmate LaTeisha[1] has an agama as a pet. This one time in class, LaTeisha told Mr. Foster “That’s what my dad said to my mom!” It was extremely hilarious. Alex’s mom said she shouldn’t have done a thing like such as that, but Mrs. Anderson laughed when we told her about it even though she pretended not to.

Special powers

The agama has very many cool colors, which is cool, for because it’s like the reptile version of human tattoos, which are the coolest thing you can put on a person’s skin. I’m gonna get one that’s a tribal symbol, because I’m like very in tune with nature as well as brotherhood. My dad won’t let me get one yet, though, so I got one on my iPod case, which is like an iPod’s skin.


The agama is not a good-looking animal in terms of its attractiveness. It has a long tail, so it defiantly gets points for that. But like Beyonce is defiantly the most beautiful creature to ever walk this earth OR the moon’s, and she doesn’t have any tails at all. So I think this proves that a tail does not make an animal better looking.

Also, it does not breathe fire, and that is some bullcrap – pardon my lingo.


This is a cool picture I found.

Number of legs


Wikipedia article status

The agama article has been rated as “Low-importance.” Sick burn.

What if it fought a bear?

Okay, so like everybody thinks President Lincoln was just this Presidential person, but I saw in the documentary Ibrahim Lincoln the Vampire Slayer, directed by Stefan Spielberger, that he was also very much a vampire-hunter. It’s like, if Lincoln can sign the Exclamation Provocation when half the states are against it and a bunch more didn’t even know they were states yet like Colorado and Hawaii and Cuba, AND kill vampires, then I believe in my opinion that the agama can kill a bear, no offense. God bless America, and the United States in addition.

Is it noble?


Final rating

Baby Got Back is a great song but it is also very much lyrics that are true in my life. In a conclusionary fashion, I would suggest that if Sir Mix-Em-All were writing it today, he would title it “Baby Got Agama,” which would actually be very much a better match for the anaconda. Last but not firstly, if I have calculated rightly I will be hitting my word count right about approximately now at this moment. Don’t check the margins. They’re fine.






[1]Who is white by the way. NOW who’s the racist simplestiltskin?[2]

[2]I don’t know what Randall means by this. I think the last part is supposed to be “simpleton.” –Nathan

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