Ghost crab

Ghost crab

It’s October and you know what that means: people drink a lot of beer, sometimes during the day, and other people are less likely to call them on it.[1] But also, the world gets a little spoooookier! So you would be forgiven for thinking that the ghost crab I’m rating today is a genuine spectre.

ghost crab

Or maybe an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, or a crumb of cheese.

It’s simply not true. The ghost crab is just a common shore crab. Its claws are a little asymmetrical, sure, but not even that asymmetrical. Overall, pretty dang common.

Special powers

The ghost crab boasts a 360-degree panoramic field of vision. No one has ever sneaked up on it. The seagull tried once and the ghost crab pinched it (really hard).

The ghost crab has one strong claw.


It has one weak claw.

The ghost crab can not move when a person – especially Mario – is looking at it. If you think you saw a ghost crab move, there are a couple possibilities. Either you have some wack eyes that don’t count or what you saw was the ghost of a ghost crab.

Number of legs


Notable accomplishments

The ghost crab has successfully flipped several houses, even in this economy. Every one of its buyers and a couple realtors have died under mysterious circumstances, but that’s neither here nor there.

What if it fought a bear?

The bear always be looking at the things it’s killing, so the ghost crab won’t even be able to defend itself.

Is it noble?


Final rating

Despite the scary name, the ghost crab really is just your average crab, but shyer. It’s just all right – or should I say… all FRIGHT!

crypt keeper on the DEAD carpet!







[1]Replace beer-drinking with lederhosen-wearing and this is still true.

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  1. […] this creepiest of months, I have rated animals famously associated with monsters and merely named like them. But now we reach the vampire […]

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