Wolf

Wolf

In the week leading up to the release of Taken 2, I have got to tell you: Taken 2 fever has over”Taken 2″ the Rate Every Animal offices! This is of course the latest in the very confusing Liam Neeson series, a franchise based around a character who in previous installments helped out some Jewish folks, fought Darth Maul, and punched the wolf.

And who can blame him? Well, anyone if they want to. But who can want to? Well, people who would prefer the wolf not to be punched.

Look, what I’m trying to get at here is that a lot of people, given the chance and the arm strength, would gladly punch the wolf.

gray wolf

Just asking for it?

Special powers

The wolf is a powerful predator, near the top of its respective food chain. In order to eat all that stuff below it, it utilizes strong jaws. And of course, it gains strength from the moon.

Don’t be too afraid, though. If the wolf attacks you (a human[1]), it is probably just rabid. Sleep tight!

Weaknesses

Not the most charming of creatures, other animals often want to punch it.

Number of legs

Four.

Number of toes

Ten in the front, eight in the back. There was… an incident.

Social structure

The wolf organizes itself into packs made up of nuclear families. Many argue that this is extremely dangerous to the environment and public health.

Radioactive wolves

Radioactive wolves

There is, however, a secondary alternative structure in which one wolf goes it alone, called the lone wolf method. This is the one employed by Liam Neeson in Taken 2: The Takening.

Is it a wolf?

Airwolf: No.

Wolfsbane: No.

Wolfmother: Yes.

Wolfberry: Yes.

Yelawolf: Yes.

Wolfenstein 3D: No.

Wolfman Jack: Half.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: No.

Wolfgang Puck: He is two wolves.

What if it fought a bear?

There would be numerous fighting games, movies, books, etc. dedicated to it.

Is it noble?

No.

Final rating

A non-stop thrill-ride! Neeson brings a throat-punching intensity to the latest, wolf-free installment in the series. Though this reviewer wonders why his lightsaber has been dropped from continuity.

Aslan and Lucy

“The League of Shadows has been a check against human corruption for thousands of years.”

Overall, though, this is one movie you should let yourself… get Taken 2!

 

4 out of 5 stars

 

 

[1]Probably.

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4 thoughts on “Wolf

  1. […] Executive Producer: Dick Wolf […]

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