Fainting goat

Fainting goat

This week’s animal has been made a joke and viral e-mail forward, but the fainting goat is much deeper than that.

Fainting goat

Look beyond the funny stiff legs.

Special powers

The fainting goat, in response to various stimuli, goes completely stiff in all its muscles. This may seem like a weakness. …Okay, it is.

Weaknesses

The fainting goat, in response to various stimuli, goes completely stiff in all its muscles.

Back to special powers

What appears to be pointless temporary paralysis is actually a side effect of something far more amazing: the fainting goat’s voyages to the spirit world.

The fainting goat’s soul travels easily back and forth between the two realms. As I’m sure you’re aware, time stretches in that plane of reality. So while the fainting goat spends mere seconds frozen in our world, it has time to accomplish numerous things in the spirit world. Its favorite activities include acquiring wisdom from the dead, battling demons, and pranking the Ghost Hunters.

Number of legs

Four, often stiff and unmoving.

How cute is it?

So cute.

But what about those eyes?

Oh. Yeah, those are freaky as heck.

Eye of Goat

MONSTER.

What if it fought a bear?

No dice. Bears are just as powerful in the spirit world.

Is it noble?

Yes.

Final rating

Laugh at the fainting goat at your own risk. It might be in a position to save you from a Nazgul.

Ringwraiths

Not all nine at once though. That’ll take twelve goats at least.

But for all this serious spiritual business and astral navigation, the fainting goat is not dour. It’s an amiable little guy who never takes time to brood about having hooves in two worlds. And let’s keep it that way; don’t tell it about all those YouTube users laughing at it. It still hasn’t heard and doesn’t know how to use the Internet.

 

8.5/10

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