Kangaroo rat

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Kangaroo rat

The kangaroo is considered as vermin. When you add in the rat factor, that makes the kangaroo rat a pest twice over, which is a classic case of what’s known as “double jeopardy.”

We all know that the kangaroo and kangaroo rat were exiled to Australia as punishment for their crimes. But while the kangaroo found a place among the felons, scoundrels, and road warriors Down Under, its accomplice was still found undesirable. So, the kangaroo rat traveled to somewhere it could escape its reputation: the American Southwest. But old habits are hard to kick and you can’t hop away from your past forever. Soon the kangaroo rat was nose-deep in debt and meth.

kangaroo rat

He can get out – for good this time – with just one last scam…

Special powers

The kangaroo rat is greatly skilled in abilities that would normally make it one of the great magicians: sleight of paw and astral projection. These talents are tragically wasted on its confidence schemes.

Weaknesses

It has a horrific driving record. The kangaroo rat is on its third truck since moving to the States and not even extensive Australian-style modifications can protect a vehicle from the kangaroo rat’s carelessness on the road.

Homemade tank, Vietnam

Pictured: Truck #2

Above is the second American truck, shortly before being rolled by the kangaroo rat due to driver distraction. Also, his jury-rigged controls don’t always reach the brakes.

Number of legs

Four.

Can it be redeemed?

I believe so.

What if it fought a bear?

In the middle of the kangaroo rat mouthing off, the bear would destroy the little squirt.

Is it noble?

No.

Final rating

The kangaroo rat doesn’t need to be a crummy little grifter. But until it believes that, that’s all it will be. Well, that and very cute.

Enjoy its tiny bipedal ways; just consider keeping your wallet in your front pocket.
 
 
5/10

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3 thoughts on “Kangaroo rat

  1. […] kangaroo got its start with the kangaroo rat in the mean streets of London. There the two of them ran cons masterminded by the kangaroo rat, […]

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