Brine shrimp

Brine shrimp

In the year 1957, mad scientist and noted white supremacist Harold von Braunhut had hit a bump in the road with his development of X-ray spectacles, which he hoped to use to prove that, underneath the skin, people really are inferior to him. To take his mind off the problem, he put his efforts into another project – creating the brine shrimp.

The brine shrimp is our first man-made animal covered in this blog. It is a tiny creature, which accomplishes tasks almost exclusively in large rust-red clouds which roam salty lakes in search of minorities at which to hurl epithets. The brine shrimp has been frequently marketed to children with disposable income in Fantastic Four and Amazing Fantasy advertisements as Sea-Monkeys.

Brine shrimp

Abominations may be purchased via mail order.

Eventually von Braunhut did complete his X-ray glasses, and abandoned the brine shrimp to live on its own or in the custody of young comic book readers.

Special powers

The reason the brine shrimp is well-suited to being moved through the United States Postal Service is that it has a very low cryogenic freezing point. The brine shrimp may live forever if accidentally left in the back of the refrigerator, provided the power doesn’t go out very often.

It should also be noted that the brine shrimp has a psychic third eye in the middle of its forehead. The individual brine shrimp can only read thoughts, but when it gathers in a crowd with others of its ilk, they can combine their powers to hypnotize a dog or small child.

Weaknesses

As long as the brine shrimp is kept separate from its fellows, its powers are quite weak. Also, it is a tiny, crushable shrimp.

Number of legs

Twenty-two.

Impact of salinity

The brine shrimp requires a certain amount of salt in the water it lives in. When there is not enough salt in its environment, the brine shrimp grows depressed and apathetic.

What if it fought a bear?

It is a shrimp. It can’t do anything to a bear.

Is it noble?

No.

Final rating

The brine shrimp is certainly a much better deal than X-ray spectacles. Be wary of getting too many, though, if you have pets or children in the house who might fall under their thrall.

Its final rating must also suffer from being a shrimp that completely resists scampification. You can not make brine shrimp scampi. You just can’t.

 

4/10

Tagged , , ,

5 thoughts on “Brine shrimp

  1. […] to the second post of Shrimp Week here at Rate Every Animal. Shockingly, today’s subject (the mantis shrimp) is not a shrimp at […]

  2. […] the brine shrimp, the iguana also boasts a psychic third eye. Its psychic powers, however, are typically more […]

  3. hi, that’s a precise station. There is some mistakes but the important is here.

  4. […] flamingo gains its distinctive pink color from feeding on algae, brine shrimp and a certain flavor of lemonade (blue raspberry). If, for some reason, it changes its diet, the […]

Comments are closed.