Tree Frog

Tree frog

What is this? What is this bullcrap?

Tree Frog

WHAT THE —- IS THIS

Are you kidding me, tree frog? Is this all some kind of elaborate joke carried out at my expense by the tree frog? Even that name, tree frog. Just think about that for a second. Does it make any sense? Of course it doesn’t.

A frog belongs in the water and its surrounding land. One of the many places it does not belong is a tree. Not even a gingko tree would I wish this upon. A frog is already getting two different environments. Grabbing a third is just greedy.

Special powers

This jerk is somehow getting away with being a frog and being in trees at the same time.

And it can, like, jump and stuff, I guess.

Weaknesses

Somebody could cut down the trees.

Number of legs

Four.

Places a frog should be before a tree

  • Center of active volcano
  • On a cloud
  • Canadian Parliament
  • English Parliament
  • Baltimore
  • A studio apartment
  • In a tiny top hat with a cane
  • A wall that is bleeding

What if it fought a bear?

The bear would destroy it without remorse. I applaud it for that.

Is it noble?

No.

Final rating

There is a reason the tree frog is known as “South America’s Affront to God’s Plan.”

 

1/10

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2 thoughts on “Tree Frog

  1. […] most animals. I am excluding beasts like the loathsome tree frog. Take the giant panda. I’m really regretting giving it my number; just today it called and […]

  2. […] of course, the tree frog is expected to take home Wackest Living Creature for the ninety-sixth year […]

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